Getting a Passport

July 14, 2012

During all the time I studied Spanish, I never traveled to a Spanish-speaking country. I felt I couldn't afford it or maybe I was just afraid of traveling by myself.  Okay, so maybe it wasn't a fear of traveling. I drove all over the United States by myself. I made 11 round trips from Georgia to Utah while I was attending BYU. So maybe it was just the money. Afterall, I put myself through college, working myself round the clock during the summers and part-time during the school year. Every penny seemed to go to books, tuition, and housing. Occasionally I'd wisftully think about a study aboard program, but it seemed too fantastic an idea and certainly too expensive.

So, I never had a passport; I never needed one.

Last April ,when I finally made up my mind to travel outside the U.S., I applied for a passport. The paperwork can be filled in online or printed and filled in by hand. I chose the online version so I would have a neat, professional-looking application to turn in. It seemed pretty easy, except I couldn't figure out if I should use my maiden name or married name in certain places on the application. First, I used the name on my birth certificate and figured my married name would go under the a.k.a. section.  Then I changed it to my married name and used my maiden name as the a.k.a. Then I remembered that when I married I dropped my middle name and began using my maiden name in its place. I spent more than an hour typing and retyping the application going back and forth on what I thought they wanted. Everytime I made a change, for some reason, I had to start over again. I think I finally settled on the name on my birth certificate.

Of course, whatever I settled on was not correct.  I should know after all these years that the average person filling out governmental paperwork will never know what the government has in mind, no matter how logically one approaches the task.  Once I arrived at the police station to turn in my paperwork and get my picture taken, the first thing I had to do was change every reference to my name to agree with the identification I was using.  I had to strike through each line, write the correct form of my name (which I think was first name, maiden name, and married surname), and finally, squeeze in my initials that I was the one making the changes. My nicely typed application looked like it had been completed by someone who couldn't make up their mind or someone with something to hide!

Next came getting my picture made. On a good day--- a good day being right after I've lost a LOT of weight-- I'm not especially fond of getting my picture taken. Well, this was not one of those good days...

Police Officer:   -Sit down, look up, stick your neck out...
Me   - You mean, like this?  Why am I sticking my neck out?

P.O.   -Uh, well, uh, if you stick your neck out, you won't have all that, um, all those, um, well, you know...your neck will look smoother.
Me  - Oh, you mean, I will only have ONE chin, instead of..."

CLICK! 

P.O.  - See, how nice that looks?"
Me   - Can, you retake that?  I look like a deranged turtle.
P.O.  -Naw, that is a good picture. That will be $ 151.00, please."



You be the judge....


Soft shell turtle

  http://www.flickr.com/photos/weskalinowski/576451550





"You want me to do what?!   I feel like a turtle..."











   









 



  







  



                                                                            

 

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